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How to kick alcoholic out of house after they have been thru 5 rehabs. continue to need someone else to blame!

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Question by Butterfly queen: How to kick alcoholic out of house after they have been thru 5 rehabs. continue to need someone else to blame!
Seems to me that I have been a huge enabler to my brother for many many years. All the time receiving far away phone calls when he even became homeless. When is it ever enough for them to hit ‘rock bottom’? Despite losing everything he has MANY times over, including the trust of his own 16 yr old daughter, it does not seem to be enough.

I now fully realize it’s so important to take care of oneself, not to mention my own ‘newer’ family. But alcoholic seems always to need someone to blame for their screw ups, and I’m usually ‘it’.

Also realize that they must WANT to help themselves first and foremost. No matter what you try to do to help them, nothing ever seems to be enough. They always want the past to just remain the past.

But until they get around to making amends, to me….one can forgive, but never forget; especially when continually rubbed in your face.

Only thinks he’s harming himself; but it affects our whole family! How to get them to realize the impact? HELP PLEASE!

Best answer:

Answer by Rationalish
Sometimes rock bottom is when they are dead. Show him http://rational.org and realize that rehab is designed so that he will continue to fail so that he will go back to rehab and fail and go back to rehab and fail…making the rehab a whole lot of $$$.

Add your own answer in the comments!

  • Doc Armalite

    Wow! This can be a difficult painful situation. I would decide and tell him your new rule, that he can’t stay with you, if he has anything at all to drink or any marijuana, etc. So if he is drinking now, he must leave. He may not need to go to treatment. He may just need to get in a half way house and go to AA meetings. You are enabling his alcoholism by allowing him to stay with you or by doing any thing for him, as long as he continues to tip the bottle. And it isn’t the last drink that got him drunk, it was the first drink he took, after a period of sobriety. An alcoholic cannot drink, at least not if he expects to go up the ladder and not down the ladder into the street, sickness, jail, and death. If you need assistance getting him out of your house, I would use a strong male relative, or possibly a good friend or neighbor. If no other way, then use the sheriff. If its your house and you say he is a trespasser, then the sheriff doesn’t have much choice. He may have too much pride to take a low paying job. I think a half way house would do him good. They let them live there for maybe a week before they are required to find some kind of a menial job and start paying some for room and board. He will have the company of sober alcoholics and will fit in fairly quickly most likely. Their comradery will do him good. I wouldn’t let him back in, unless he has some sobriety and you believe it, but even then, I think he would probably want to make it on his own after abusing his trust with you. He will slowly learn to keep the plug in the jug and live in sobriety within his means. His life will improve dramatically as the months and years go by in sobriety. Once you throw him out, you may be wise to get a restraining order to keep him away. Once he is well into recovery, you can let that drop.

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